My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
