you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
