Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
