Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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