real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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