Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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