i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He better not be in your backpack
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
