She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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