Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
