They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
