I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
