Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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