I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
