She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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