I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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