? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
