Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
