she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
