If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
