The Swedes wanted a tensome.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
