I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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