It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
