She said her name was "party"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
