I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
