If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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