It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize