There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
