At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
