After last night, I could never be a politician.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
