my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
