Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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