I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
