Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm always down for nudity.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
