I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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