yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
