Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
