Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
