i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
