I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
how drunk are you?
Several
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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