this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
