He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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