between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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