At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
