I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
