kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
This is the high leading the old right now
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
