you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
