It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
