Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
