More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
