She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize