please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
