My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm bleeding and have questions
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
