Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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