I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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