Already got asked if we're dating
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were destined to go to rehab together
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
