Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
