plz talk dirty to me
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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