You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize